The Interview

When asked how the interview went I reply:-
They interrogated me.
"I will tell you nothing," I blurted, "because I am innocent."
"What tools do you use to catalogue?"
"Saw and spanner" I reply.
" What is wrong with this invoice?" they ask.
"The clowns want our money. They should pay us for the privilege of being our supplier."
"What do you think of teamwork?"
"Not much," I said, "I can make my own mistakes without help from anyone else."
I think the interview went really well.

SANITY

I know I am sane. The voices keep telling me and they must be right because my dog says so. And I don't even have a dog.

Things Confucius didn't say

War does not determine who is  right, ......it determines who is left.

Man who drives like hell....... is bound to get there.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, ......man  who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who leaps off cliff....... jumps to conclusion.