S Adams Economics of the 90s

Downsizing - Stock goes up
Reduced benefits - Stock goes up
unpaid overtime - Stock goes up
Doubling the workload - Stock goes up

Yes indeed

Importance of workplace talk

It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

I always wanted to drown my troubles

My office due to budget cuts

Wisdom of a Polish friend

Don’t work too hard. Remember less work you do, less mistakes you’ll make.

All the best

Teresa

Employee evaluations

Could all be me.

This man has delusions of adequacy.

Should go far and the sooner he starts the better.

if you stand close you can hear the ocean.

From Broxton with thanks

Always give 100% at work

12 % Monday
23 % Tuesday
40% Wednesday
20% Thursday
5% Friday

A Dilbert "quotes contest" favourite

Quote from the Boss: 'Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.' (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

Martine says

"Have you ever noticed that other peoples stuff is shit but your own shit is stuff"

'Dilbert Quotes' contest

A magazine recently ran a 'Dilbert Quotes' contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers.
'As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks..'
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA )

Yes indeed

Newspaper headline

RED TAPE HOLDS UP BRIDGE

Shinny Bum Singers

Every Dilbert fan would love these.
Do visit their web site
Her is one of their songs

Mein Boss

Tune: Eidelweiss

Boss of mine, boss of mine, every morning you meet me
All uptight, what a fright
With a snarl you greet me
Something goes wrong and you pass blame on
Pass blame on wherever
Boss of mine, boss of mine, burn in hell forever.

Staff of mine, staff of mine, I see you waiting for me
Small and pale, oh so frail
What a victim you’ll make me
You do the work and I’ll make the claim
Make the claim for glory
Staff of mine, staff of mine, that’s the usual story

Boss of mine, boss of mine, every evening you leave me
What a sight, still uptight
Your manner can’t deceive me
Something goes right and the credit’s yours
Share the credit? Never!
Boss of mine, boss of mine, burn in hell forever.

Famous Oxymorons

Microsoft Works
Military Intelligence

Dilbert

Russian Dance

The weekend starts so again it is time to do the "Russian Dance"

'PISSINOVSKY'

Australia today

Otto

"To retain respect for sausages and laws, one must not
watch them in the making."
- Otto von Bismarck

Grey

Why is grey the prefered carpet colour for the work place??

Ombudsman

http://lgowatcher.blogspot.com/

Enjoy the cartoons on this site of another Dilbert fan

Rule 4

Made a mistake?
Yes
Does anyone know about it?
No
She's apples.

Ode to Managers

Shall I compare thee to a drunken Lemur

Thou art more beautiful and less temperate

The winds may stir the darling buds of May

But managers are often all astray

Poets Day

Poets Day again
Piss Off Early Tomorrow's Saturday
Alas to say I worked back late

Love work

Love the work.  Love the work. Love the work. Love the work.

Dilbert's law

While at work flogging will continue until morale improves.

The Office

Typical "Dilbert" work environment

Hope

"After the storm the birds always sing" Patty tells me.

Work***

I love this sign I saw on a manager's desk:- "Bugger the ... work. Let's have a drink"

IQ test

I scored 100% in the public service IQ test

Corinthians

My work is very religious -- The same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Hurrah

This economic production unit reached his statistical quota and achieved his efficiency quotient.

Mondayitis

Mondayitis here again so I am glad it is only 4 days to Friday

Weekends

This is why weekends are better.

Yipee weekend

Without work one would not enjoy weekends as much.
Martine may be in Scotland but I have a weekend after work to enjoy in Canberra

Love work

Great breakfast at Bookplate with Carol.
Delicious lunch at Coffers with Quentin.
Love the friends , love the pay, it's what keeps me coming back each day.

Elexior of work

There is nothing better than a good cup of coffee to start a working day

Worker or slave

The question is; are we the crew or the passengers, or is it the slaves and the masters, or is it the prisoners and the screws?

The Joy of Work

When I realize I could be in a laundromat in Salzberg I wonder why I choose to be here?